I live life to the fullest

and all of those other cliche sounding adages that I hear people say. Last week I took the old adage by the horns and went skydiving. According to my mother, I seem to have some sinister plot to give her a heart attack (lol). So what in the world would possess me to leap out of a perfectly good airplane at 14,250 feet? Simply, I did it because I could. I did it because I've always been inspired by people who have lived their life without regrets. People who do not have lives filled with a long list of "could'ves, would'ves, should'ves". Now you may say (and justifiably so), ILP, you don't have to skydive to live life to the fullest. My response (besides you're right) would be that skydiving is representative of all of the opportunities that life has to offer and the speed at which those opportunities can fly by.

Since my jump I have been bombarded with questions, primarily, "What was going through your mind as you were coming down?" Interestingly enough...nothing was going through my mind. I was simply in the moment. I simply was. What an incredible lesson about how one should live. How ironic that for me, it took something as extreme as a jump to teach me one of life's true cornerstones.

Since I've landed...I haven't been able to stop humming Tim McGraw's old tune. Right now the lyrics are my life's anthem. Enjoy.

Live Like You Were Dyin'

He said: "I was in my early forties,"With a lot of life before me,"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime."I spent most of the next days,"Looking at the x-rays,"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."I asked him when it sank in,That this might really be the real end?How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?Man whatcha do? An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu."And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,"To live like you were dyin'." He said "I was finally the husband,"That most the time I wasn’t."An' I became a friend a friend would like to have."And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,"Wasn’t such an imposition,"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad."Well, I finally read the Good Book,"And I took a good long hard look,"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,"And then: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu."And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,"To live like you were dyin'." Like tomorrow was a gift,And you got eternity,To think about what you’d do with it.An' what did you do with it?An' what can I do with it?An' what would I do with it? "Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu."And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,"And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin'."An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,"To live like you were dyin'." "To live like you were dyin'.""To live like you were dyin'.""To live like you were dyin'.""To live like you were dyin'."

The Holiday Spirit

I'm not into it this year....sigh. But I don't think the rest of the world around me is either. I signed up for the Secret Pal Gift Exchange at work. My pal hasn't done very well. The office Holiday Potluck has gone up...only 3 people have signed up. Jess and I went to the mall yesterday and it was empty. Seriously, no one was in any of the stores! No one was in line to see Santa!

One bright spot was that Stacy hosted her holiday party! What a blast! I didn't stay long, but she had a great crowd. Stacy has always had the ability to befriend a wide range of people. I mean everyone from grade school to retirement home. A representative from each group was in attendance at her party. The food was great and the music was fun. I loved it!

Today, I am going to try and continue the momentum that Stacy began. I am going to have lunch with Michael at Bonefish Grille. Afterwards, I am going to see if I can find some mistletoe.

Lazy Hazy Days

I love summer for just that reason. July 4th, I decided that everyone would come to me for eating, drinking (none for me though...I had a long run the next morning), and laughs. No invites were issued. I used technology to spread the word....general text messages. The text read, "Looks like its gonna be @ my pad. It starts @ 2 n' will end at 3 if y'all don't show by 2.30. Bring what you want to eat."

It worked...(smile).

Michael ran the grill. I think I have a crush on him now. Smile.
Amanda had dessert. She really needs to open a shop. She had her "Betrothed" with her.
Sarah showed up looking like she just left the runway during NYC's Fashion Week. She still hasn't told everyone where she was going. She came with Cruz.
Dalila made her grand entrance...of course way after she was told to arrive.
Odelia our family's resident nut. She is absolutely hilarious. Her latest CD single was cool.
Debbyann arrived 1st. I should have given her a prize.
Paulette arrived with Ms. Marissa. OMG, I had no idea that Marissa could put down potato salad like that!!!
Trudy arrived after everyone left, so we spent quiet time eating the grilled lamb that Michael made for us...yummo.

Then the kids....Jaylynn, Ariel, Ty'Heil, Caleb, Malachi, Marissa (I mentioned her already) and PJ (who let me know that she gained 3 pounds). I was exausted just by looking at them.

We laughed, looked at old family photos, ate (and ate and ate) great food, listened to music, caught up and had a good time.

Life is a Marathon

How many times have you heard this one? I have come to understand exactly what this means. Training is going well. I am up to 9 miles on my long runs, which makes the short runs seem like a breeze. During the long runs I entertain myself with music (boy those IPOD Playlists come in handy), I look at the sites along the trail (I ran by the most beautiful horse farm 2 weeks ago), and I think. I think about all kinds of things. I think about how lucky I am. I think about how far I've come (and how far I still have to go) both on the run and in my real life.

While it is very easy for me to get overwhelmed with the how far I still have to go during my long runs, there is something that clicks in me and says, "ILP, take one more step." Then I do. Then that something says, "Take another step." Then I do. Before I know it I have finished my run and wonder why I was so overwhelmed in the first place.

Party Like It's 1984

This past weekend was a weekend that I needed and was definitely a long time in the making. I was invited to a 40th Birthday Party on Saturday. All attendees were required to dress in their best rags from the 70's or 80's. I decided on 70's Hippie. My date (and everyone else for that matter) did 80's Crush Groove. The evening was full eating, dancing (Lord, that is another blog), and reminiscing about the the past.

Do you remember...

1. Now and Laters
2. Pop Rocks
3. Boston Baked Beans
4. Lemon Heads
5. Sugar Daddy's
6. Charleston Chews
7. Candy Cigarettes
8. Mary Janes

What about....

1. Crush Groove
2. Fat Boys
3. Run DMC
4. Purple Rain (God, I love that movie)
5. Asymmetric Hair Cut
6. Bamboo Earrings
7. Human Beat Box
8. Adidas Outfits
9. Madonna
10. Flashdance

Time

Ms. Shirley is one of those people that have been in my life since I can remember myself. In my seriously blended, extended and humongous family, Ms. Shirley was the lady who had the cookouts. No one's macaroni and cheese is better than hers! She had the most amazing heart and giving spirit. She was happy when you were happy (and full).

As things would have it, Time hasn't been as generous and Ms. Shirley's health declined. Time sent her to her final home on March 17, 2008. Rest in peace, Ms. Shirley. The pain is gone now.

Time
Alan Parsons Project

Time, flowing like a river
Time,beckoning me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river
To the sea

Goodbye my love,
Maybe for forever
Goodbye my love,
The tide waits for me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever

But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea, to the sea

Till it's gone forever
Gone forever
Gone forevermore
Goodbye my friends,
Maybe forever

Goodbye my friends,
The stars wait for me
Who knows where we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea, to the sea

Till it's gone forever
Gone forever
Gone forevermore

Old & Wise

Yesterday while waiting for a ride to a party for my cousin. My mom says... "You know Miss Slize died."

Miss Slize is the woman that raised my mom after my maternal grandmother (whom I have never met) died. As a child it was obvious that my mom didn't have a good experience with Miss Slize. My mom usually told us about her when she wanted us to learn some life lesson. Or when she thought we were being ungrateful, in other words when we were being repremanded. The name Miss Slize is one of those names that I heard over and over again. I knew how she cooked, what made her laugh, how she disciplined, how she hated, how she loved. I knew that she had impeccable taste in clothing and style. I new what frightened her and that she was illiterate. I knew that her husband (my mom's uncle) was an alcoholic. I knew all of this before I met her for the first time in 2001.

When my mom left Jamaica all those years ago, she never went back to see Miss Slize. She had all the opportunities in the world, but she always had one reason (never a good one in my opinion) or another as to why she would "go the next time".

I am grateful for this past summer when all of the girls in the family (except mom) went to see Miss Slize. It was obvious to us that Miss Slize would soon have her final sunset. The ravages of old age had definitely taken its toll. I was kind of ticked with my sisters for putting the camcorder so close to her face. I am grateful, because now we have physical pictures along with mental ones.

Miss Slize connected the dots for me. Meeting her somehow completed the picture of my existance. She is my maternal conduit to Jamaica.

Old and Wise

Alan Parsons Project

As far as my eyes can see

There are shadows approaching me

And to those I left behind

I wanted you to know

You've always shared my deepest thoughts

You follow where I go

And oh... when I'm old and wise

Bitter words mean little to me

Autumn winds will blow right through me

And someday in the mist of time

When they asked me if I knew you

I'd smile and say you were a friend of mine

And the sadness would be lifted from my eyes

Oh when I'm old and wise

As far as my eyes can see

There are shadows surrounding me

And to those I leave behind

I want you all to know

You've always shared my darkest hours

I'll miss you when I go
And oh... when I'm old and wise

Heavy words that tossed and blew me

Like autumn winds that will blow right through me

And someday in the mist of time

When they ask you if you knew me

Remember that you were a frined of mine

As the final curtain falls before my eyes

Oh when I'm old and wise

As far as my eyes can see

Rest in Peace Eliza Higgins.

Thanks Suzie McNeil, I'm Ready. Hello 2008.

One minute's fading
One minute's past
But I've got this moment
To make it all last
I'm standing before you
Taking my chance on
Everything I never thought that I could be
Cuz you can do almost anything

If you just believe
You can move mountains with dreams
The higher you climb
The better it gets
Cuz you will see things
You'll never forget
If you just believe

It's like I'm falling through my own fears
They used to haunt me, but now they're not here
There's no looking back, my future is clear
No giving up
And I'm holding on when it gets rough
Cuz you can get through most anything

If you just believe
You can move mountains with dreams
The higher you climb
The better it gets
Cuz you will see things
You'll never forget
If you just believe

No one says it's easy
And no one says you have to be perfect
But as long as you try
You're always gonna find
It was worth it

If you just believe
You can move mountains with dreams
The higher you climb
The better it gets
Cuz you will see things
You'll never forget

If you just believe
You can move mountains with dreams
If you just believe
You can move mountains with dreams

The Biggest Loser

So I am going to admit that I am officially on the bandwagon. When the series first started, I was like...what? There isn't much that tv hadn't tried. I thought that tv had reached another low. But here I am watching this season's finale and I am amazed and inspired. As someone who struggles with my weight and body image, watching these people put themselves out there and do it in front of the world is inspiring. They let me know that if they can do...I am not alone. They let me know that I can do it too.

Now of course the naysayers are going to say, "Of course, they lost the weight. They went to a spa, they were at The Biggest Loser Campus, they had trainers." I thought like that at first. But I was missing the point. The trainers, the diet, and the workouts were there to teach us three things:

• Believe. During the promos for the show, they play the song Believe by Suzie McNeil. People who are overweight sometimes don't believe that they can take the weight off and keep it off.
• Sustained weight loss is hard. You have to work at it.
• There is no magic bullet to weight loss. Their is no pill. It all boils down to healthy eating and exercise.

I know I don't have the courage to appear on The Biggest Loser, but I can definitely carry the spirit of all of those contestants with me. I just added Believe to my workout playlist.

Next season to begin in January will feature couples....I'll definately will be watching.

(http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/)

It's A Wonderful Life

I love that movie. I've watched it two times a year every year for the last 15 years and I never get tired of it. I guess I could tape it or buy the DVD, but there is something about watching it on tv (commercials and all). Goerge Bailey had so many lessons to learn and through the power of prayer, he learned them all.

"Buffalo Gal will you come out

will you come out tonight

will you come out tonight

Buffalo Gal will you come out tonight

and dance by the light of the moon."

George had the best plans to travel the globe and to build big things. He was on the first train out of Bedford Falls. George thought he had to travel the globe to do something wonderful with his life. What he didnt know is that God had his life all mapped out for him and that his life was wonderful as God had written it. George had to come close to losing all that he had to realize the beauty and grace of what he had right in front of him.

I can relate though to Georges feelings whenever he heard the toot of a train engine. How it made him fill with longing and regret of dreams never realized. It happens to me more and more these days. I know that is why I have started to write again. I need to see where this takes me. It may not take me anywhere, but I need to follow this path until it ends.

There was something about good old Bedford Falls. Yup, there is something about home.

I Feel Good

It is 10pm and I just got back from the gym. Yeah, I had put it off yesterday and the day before, so it was due time. I did 1 hour on the eliptical machine and listened to Daughtry (http://www.daughtryofficial.com/). Man, that is a really great album! I've never watched an episode of American Idol, so I never saw Chris on the show. I like the raw and raspy sound of his voice. The last 20 minutes of my workout I replayed Home over and over again. That song really speaks to me. I might have to make that song my anthem. I really understand when he says,

"i'm going home, to the place where i belong

where your love has always been enough for me

i'm not running from, you know i think you got me all wrong

i don't regret this life i chose for me.

but these places and these faces are getting old

i'm going home."

At work today one of my coworkers asked me something that I found rather curious. She asked, "Have you ever felt like you teach because you're afraid to be doing something else?" My co-worker wasn't asking me because she was really interested in my answer. She was asking me so that I could validate some emotion that she was experiencing. But her question reached the deepest regions of my gutt. She said, outloud, what I haven't had the nerve to say to myself for the longest time. Don't get me wrong, teaching isn't bad and I don't regret one moment of my experiences so far. Afterall, it is those experiences that have gotten me to this moment and this place in my life. But even with all of that being said...these places and these faces are getting old.